Recently I’ve met with several leaders who’ve been shaken up by various experiences—being let go from a job, being moved to a different role, family health crises, and general burnout. As I’ve shared recently, I’ve also been going through several transitions and challenges (lessons from cancer and the pain and promise of transitions) that have shaken up my foundation. As I’ve reflected on my own life and those of the leaders I’ve met with recently, I’ve come to see more clearly the importance of building and maintaining your foundation. To keep standing amidst change and challenge, you have to care for your foundation.
Dealing with the Cracks in Your Foundation
I’ve realized that part of what I’m dealing with now are cracks in my foundation—issues from the past that are coming to the surface in a new way due to a different life stage. I’ve also realized that had I not had the foundation I do have in place, I know I wouldn’t have fared as well through these challenges.
The truth that has become apparent to me is that I tend to ignore my foundation for well-being until a crack becomes evident, and pain, stress, and burnout start to rule the day. I think this is human nature.
We tend to ignore the foundation of our well-being because there’s not an immediate payoff for spending time and energy building it when we’re doing “OK.”
I’m focusing again on my foundation, and I want to encourage you to do the same—even when no one is looking, and even when there is no immediate reward. If you do, then when the storm hits, you’ll able to weather it, and maybe even become a better person because of it.
Just as important, the people you lead and love rely on you to keep your foundation intact. This is your #1 job if you’re going to have a sustained positive impact on your family, co-workers, and organization as a whole.
So, what constitutes our foundation? There are probably lots of elements and many ways to think about it. I hope these three aspects will resonate with you, but I’d also encourage you to personalize the elements of your foundation. Refine and reflect on these, and add any that you feel are missing.
3 Essential Practices to Build a Foundation for Well-being and Positive Influence
Here are 3 practices to build your foundation for well-being and positive influence in the world.
1. Develop Your Attachment Relationships. I’ve realized anew that I can’t be a lone ranger and still expect to be healthy and make a positive impact on people. I’ve been broken and realized I need the closest people in my life—the people to whom I’m attached. These are the people who provide two things for us:
1) comfort when we’re distressed; and
2) a haven of safety to explore the world.
This means we need to reach out even when it’s scary or uncomfortable. And it means we need to do our best to be there for those people as well; to create a relational space for mutual love and care. There are times when we need others more, and times when others in our lives need us more. The key is to be fluid and flexible. Be open to your own needs and to the needs of others.